Are your roots wide enough for the branches in your life?

Today we had a Breakthrough staff retreat at a nearby arboretum. It was a great way to get out of the city and experience nature for a change. (I don't have trees on my block!). One of our staff members even said that she felt more spiritual and at peace being out in a place like that, almost as if she belonged there. You can definitely feel the change from the city to the woods - strangely feeling closer to God in a way. Ok, but I'm digressing.

One focus of our retreat was to have some time alone and reflect on our leadership from a spiritual perspective. So we all scattered throughout the trees and chartered our reflection time.

I was drawn to the immensity of many of the trees there. There were such huge trees that towered over me. And as part of my own exercise, I decided to journey through the groves to find the largest trees, and when I found one, I would try to push it over. Of course, it wasn't going to move. The point was, I actually wanted to feel what it was like to push something that was so well rooted. Those trees didn't budge.  Even on a really windy day like it was in the Chicago area today - those trees are solid and immovable.  So I began meditating on the connection between the roots underground, and the large branches above ground, and how that might speak to my life. But I don't know a lot about trees and plants, so I fortunately found a couple of the arboretum staff out working in a grove, transplanting some trees. I stopped by and asked them about what role roots play with trees and how deep do they have to grow.

One thing that she said amazed me (probably because I don't know much about trees!). She said that tree roots don't actually grow that deep, but they do have to grow long and wide in order to keep the tree stable. In fact, she explained that a tree's roots are usually twice as long as its branches.

Picture that. When we look at a tree, we see its many branches, with its beautiful leaves, stretching far out into the sky. But there's twice as much tree underground, stretching wide across the earth.

So that got me to asking some rhetorical questions. Do I need to be twice as rooted underground as the branches that I lead above ground? Do I need to invest twice as much energy into working on my character as I actually do when I perform the many facets of my life?

In life we have a lot of branches that extend out from us, showing the kind of fruit we're bearing and the direction in which we're growing. Our branches represent the things that we do on a regular basis, roles that we serve, projects or initiatives that we're working on, responsibilities that we maintain, new things we want to do, and the pressures we face. Our branches are the things that we lead and invest our energy in. And everyone around us sees us perform these things. But they don't usually see or care about what goes on inside, or behind the scenes, that allows us to do and be those things. Sadly, most times neither do we.

Is it no surprise,then, that a lot of people don't finish well? Husbands, wives, parents, pastors, polticians, athletes, teachers...

So again, for the time that I spend doing the things of my life, have I spent double the time rooting my character? If I haven't, will I be able to sustain new branches that want to grow? Will I even be able to maintain the current branches that I do? Will I be able to withstand the demanding winds of life that come so often?

It takes twice as much time for something like that, but I will be a much better, stronger person who will not be pushed over by the pressures of life, and who will be able to grow far into the sky with many branches.

To close, it reminded me of what the prophet Jeremiah said:

“...Blessed are those who trust in the Lord
      and have made the Lord their hope and confidence.
 They are like trees planted along a riverbank,
      with roots that reach deep into the water.
   Such trees are not bothered by the heat
      or worried by long months of drought.
   Their leaves stay green,
      and they never stop producing fruit.

A heart to heart with my future teenage grandson

One day I'll be a crotchety old man trying to pass on some values to my grandson, and I imagine our conversation might be something like this...

You know son, when I was your age, times were different.

How do you kids even make friends these days?  In my day, all we had to keep in touch with each other was a Facebook, or a Twitter, an email, or a text message from our phone. Now you have all these complicated ways of communicating with each other. It's a wonder if you have any deep or meaningful relationships. Life was much easier back then.

And don't get me started about phones. You think your phone is big? Ha! We had to stuff these things the size of a cigarette box in our pockets, can you believe that? And our phones back then didn't have all that junk on it. Just what we needed - a camera, internet access, maybe a few apps or games if we were lucky. And you know, we had to touch and drag the screen and do all kinds of things just to work the thing. But we didn't need all that fancy stuff. It's a phone for Christ's sake. Use it for what it was made for. What a distraction!

You just don't appreciate your life these days. You know son, I used to have to drive 2 hours to work and to hours back, in bumper to bumper traffic, and we didn't have all these fancy luxuries you kids have. We had just the basics to get from point A to point B - just simple power windows, AC, maybe a sunroof,  and we had to sit in leather seats with old electronic seat warmers. Yeah...they don't make 'em like they used to. But that's all we needed.  And it wasn't like we could just pick up and go around like you do now. Most of us only had 3 or 4 cars in the house to go around. And when you think about the big families back then, 2 or 3 siblings fighting over a car wasn't pretty.  You take so many things for granted.

And parking, good grief. Why do you even drive? It's a rip off. It's like this mayor of ours doesn't want people comin' into town. When I was your age, we had these meters out on the street, and we could put a credit card in there and get an hour for just 2 or 3 bucks. One whole hour! Right downtown. The dollar just doesn't go that far anymore.

And we could take the train too.  Did you know that $2.25 would get you anywhere in the city you wanted to go in just one ride. And if you rode often, you could get a monthly pass for only 90 bucks. Not these days.

Your grandmother and I would ride the train down to the ball park and catch a game whenever we could. We could sit right there down by the players for only $100, and you could get a hot dog and a beer for only $11 or $12. But look, I can't even afford to take my own grandson to see my team these days. The whole sport lost its way.

It's all about money now. Business, son. That's all that matters. Back then, we valued our sport, and our players were loyal to their city. I mean, we had greats like Lebron James, who was willing to play in his own hometown for years before deciding to go somewhere else. You don't got guys like that anymore. And our athletes were role models, people kids could actually look up to. They would make mistakes and would patch it up right away. But these guys these days do whatever the heck they want and don't care. Don't get your hopes up for these guys, son.

Speaking of business. Look what they've done to music. Do they even make music anymore? I mean, real music? What's that you're listening to, eh? Whatever happened to the Lady Gaga's, the Jay Z's, the Beyonce's? They were artists, they had something to say back then. I can't even understand what these people  are singing these days. And you think that music player is big, son? We had to download what they called MP3's, digital songs, one by one onto these Ipods that we had to keep track of.  Everything we did digitally. That's all we had.  

Yes son, times were different. Times were different. Just be thankful for what you got, you hear son? 

Lead your family first

The Fall is usually the busiest time of year for me. The looming holiday season makes life at Breatkhrough busy, but also it makes family life busy, of course, with traveling and all. Also, Breakthrough has its Annual Benefit in the Fall, which is our most important event of the year.  And, yes, the Chicago Bears.  And this Fall has proven to be no less busy. I've just added new staff to my team at Breakthrough, and our leadership team is finishing up a strategic planning process.  And on the church side, we've started a new church community with some neighborhood initiatives attached to it. And at home we're refinancing, and I have work to do around the house. And I want to keep up with my music, and go to the gym...and...and [*KABOOM*]

I already tend to juggle a lot in life. Although I don't consider myself a workaholic, very rarely am I only working on one thing.  So it's been a lot on me this season already, keeping me up at night thinking about staying on top of those things.

But the most important thing of all just happened to me and my wife - we welcomed our baby girl Evangeline into the world. And we have been pouring all our love into her these last few weeks.

So yesterday I come home from work. and I'm totally exhausted. I haven't slept for two weeks. I've got all that stuff on my mind, and it's Friday evening. I don't have anything really to do that evening, but my mind wants me to work on something. And I think I'm hungry, but nothing seems appetizing to me. I was a wreck.

Then I start talking with a buddy from church on the phone, and he recognizes that I'm just not myself. I admit to him that I'm adjusting to my new schedule with the baby and all, and I'm wondering how I'm going to keep up with all this other stuff, and I need to be plugged better into the Spirit to do that, but my prayer routine is off and I'm not feeling powerful spiritually...blah blah blah.

But he stops me and tells me no! "You don't have to worry about any of that," he says. "God has got all that stuff covered, and he's got lots of people besides you.  And remember, all this stuff depends on God anyway, not you." Then reminds me about a story in the Bible in which a guy named Uzzah dies because he irreverently touches the Ark of the Covenant to save it from falling down, even though God told the people never to touch the Ark.

"Don't be like that dude and destroy yourself by trying to do what you're really not supposed to do right now," he says. "What you have to do right now is be a father."

And I stop him and say yes!

He's so right. In an instant it dawned on me how easy it is to forget that your first and foremost career is your family.  Sure, the workaholic business guys in the movies get the bad rap for putting their families aside, but it's no different for people who work in non-profit, ministry environments.  No matter what field they're in, leaders constantly have so much on their minds as they try to accomplish the mission before them that it's easy to take their families for granted. Somehow we behave as if our families don't need that kind of leadership energy. They kind of run themselves, right?

But the best leaders are the ones who lead their families first. Who pray and strategize constantly on how to love their spouse and kids better. Who innovate ways to make their the home the best one on earth. Who capitalize on every opportunity to make the most of their lives together.

I've already been married for several years, so this is not entirely a new lesson for me. I've always worked at putting my marriage before everything. But it certainly is a renewed lesson now with our daughter, and I'm certainly not perfect at it. So I am really excited to learn and practice this more. Thankfully, I have a lot of good role models at work, at church, and in my own family to coach me through it.

What should keep me up at night is how I can be a better husband and father.  Evangeline has already got the keeping me up part down. The rest is on me.

You Can't Make This Stuff Up

The most incredible things happen all the time when you are caught up in the kingdom of God.  Have you ever noticed that?

Breakthrough's Annual Benefit is next week.  And for this year's event, we are presenting a series of vignettes that illustrate the stories of guests from each program who have experienced transformation at Breakthrough, and who have in turn given back as a result. 

So yesterday I was working with my man Donald, our video producer (I know, fancy, right?), to shoot the footage that would accompany the story I will be telling about my friend Andre.  But before I continue, this will slightly be a spoiler warning, but I have to tell you this amazing story that happens within a story, because this is not stuff that you can make up. Maybe it will picque your interest enough to attend our Benefit next week!

Andre arrives, and Donald and I are explaining to him the kind of footage that we will be shooting of him. One part of the story involves Andre carrying a sick man back to his home from Breakthrough. So Donald and I tell Andre that we will be getting some shots of him reenacting that.  Andre, of course, is up for it, no matter who he carries. He's a strong guy and is ready for about 10-15 takes, easy. But I look at Donald and ask him blankly..."Have we found someone for him to carry?"  Donald says, "No."  I say, "I should probably get someone, huh?" Donald says, "Yeah."

So I go and find a gentleman from our men's program to volunteer for the shoot who more or less fit the orignal man's profile (Think kind of like those cut-in doubles on the Windows 7 commercials).

Then we go outside, and we start doing a couple takes. And suddenly, during the third or fourth take, this voice on my left says, "Yeah, that's the guy who saved my life. Just like that. He carried me home."

I look over and there's an older gentleman standing next to me, pointing at Andre. "That guy is a Godsend. I don't know what I would have done without him. He carried me just like that."

At that moment, Andre and our double return to the camera. "Hey, that's the guy right there!" points Andre. "That's Mr. Johnson. That's the man I carried." And they warmly reunite and greet each other with a handshake and a hug.

Meanwhile, the double says, "That's the real guy? Even better! You don't need me anymore, right?"

Donald and I look at each other a little dumbfounded and don't really know what to say or do? Was this really happening?  Should we put the real guy in the shoot?  How is it that he is even here right now?  Is he even healthy enough for it?

I give Donald a what-should-we-do look. "It's up to you, man," he replies.

Turning to the man, I ask, "Well, what do you think, do you want to be in your own story? Are you well enough to do a few takes?"

"Oh yeah," he says. "That guy saved my life. Of course, I'll do anything!"

So the double takes off, and we start shooting the story with the real characters. And surprisingly, Mr. Johnson does a fantastic job. To our delight, a natural for dramatic theater!

But midway, something else extraordinary happens. A group of about 4 other older gentlemen are walking down the street, who happen to be Mr. Johnson's friends. They recognize him, and they stop and interrupt the shoot because apparently their buddy is a movie star now!  But then they realize what's happening and say, "Oh, this is the guy who carried you home that one day?"  And Mr. Johnson glowingly introduces them to Andre and says again, "Yeah, this is the guy who saved my life. Thank God!"

We just let the camera roll.

What I haven't shared yet is that the major hook in Andre's story is about being at the right place at the right time, right where God needs you.

I'm telling you. You can't make this stuff up. Stories like this happen all the time at places like Breakthrough. If you want to hear more stories like this, you really should come to this Benefit Dinner.

Do yourself a favor - Don't go to Church! (Part 2)

In my previous post I talked about the tension between "being church" and "going to church." And I said that Jesus would tell us not to "go to church," because the greatest commandment of loving God and loving people must be lived out as the community of God, and not simply attended.  Instead, he would tell us to be church.


The religious teachers had a chance to fire some tough questions at Jesus, so in like manner, let's throw some tough questions at this topic of being church vs. going to church.


1. What's the difference between being church and going to church?
When we "go to church," we tend to think of church as an object...a building, a set of programs, an event we attend once or twice a week, a set of rituals, an organization or denomination, or (God forbid) a TV show. Granted, those may be legitimate outcomes or expressions of church, but in themselves they are not "the church."   The Bible's language about church is more akin to words that describe "being"... like an organism (body of Christ), a family, a community, a relationship, a lifestyle, or a cause.  At the core, the difference is a heart issue.  We cannot "be" a lifeless object. And if we prioritize those objects over "being the church," then we will never experience the Kingdom of God. More on that below.


2. Why does there even have to be a church?
Maybe you don't think any of this is worth the trouble. Maybe church is something that should just be optional for people, whether to be church, go to church, or no church at all. I think that's fair.  Many people have seen a lot of hypocrisy and have been burned by church. For others, church is really boring and irrelevant. So perhaps church is something that we can just as well do without if we choose?  Well, I can't do much to fix the way people have expressed or experienced church. But here's why we have to have it...


Church starts with God's personality. You know me, I'm one for stretches, so I'm going to say here that God as Trinity (three persons in one) shows that God is in a sense the first church. I'm still not 100% sure how the Trinity works, but I know that it implies "community." God's own personality is a dynamic community of Father, Son, and Spirit that mutually loves and honors one another, and that also loves the world.  And so you should naturally find that God would express himself through “community initiatives,” as you actually do find throughout scripture:

…to the Heavenly Host - "Let us make man in our image."

…to Adam - "It’s not good for you to be alone, I will make you a helper."

…to Abraham – "I will bless you into a great nation."

…to Pharaoh – “Let my people go.”

…to Israel – "You are a chosen, treasured people, set apart from the nations."

…to the disciples – "Come follow me."

...to the World - "Come eat at the banquet table."

All this is to say that God wants people to live in intentional community (as a "church") to bring honor to him and to show love to one another – because it’s what he already does (or “is”) on a daily basis. It’s the reality and purpose for the world.
 

3. Ok, so then why can’t I just “go to church?”

Here we should be careful to check our motivations for why we even want to go to church to begin with. If you're compelled to go to church because of fear, guilt, obligation, manipulation, or spiritual entertainment, then you should NOT go. On the other hand, if you're looking for good things like a sense of community or to find some meaning in life then you also should NOT go to church. The Trinity thing already shows that church is a state of being, not going. So you will only find true church when you be it, not go to it.  I know that sounds all like Yoda talk, but it's for real.

But let's consider another reason why we shouldn't simply "go to church."  Remember from the last post that Jesus' reply came from the Torah (the community handbook of Israel).  Have you ever read through some of those laws and wondered if the author had ADD? Just take an example from Exodus 23 - in no particular order, the people are instructed on treating foreigners fairly, harvesting crops, refusing bribes, and managing donkeys.   How the heck are all these things tied together?

I think this shows us that God wants us to have an integrated, holistic faith, where we don’t compartmentalize our life into church, work, friends, family, or donkey. It all belongs under the umbrella of a lifestyle that is centered on loving God and loving people - being church.  We’re not just supposed to show up to church and then go about our lives the rest of the week. Everything we are and do is an expression of our "church" life.

So when the religious teacher agrees, in so many words, that it is more imporant to be church than simply to go to church, Jesus affirmed that he was not far from the Kingdom of God, from the life that God has set up for us. Hence, we are closer to the Kingdom of God (to peace, justice, healing, community, love, celebration, creativity, hope, etc.) when we "be" church.

4. What does it mean to be church?
Very simply, being church means living out Mark 12:28-34 together.  It means growing spiritually on your own and helping others grow, using your spiritual gifts to bless others, being a blessing to your neighbors and friends, and sharing life together.  So when we take “church” seriously as a community of people intentionally loving God, loving people together, then we can see how our communion with God, our fellowship with each other, and our service to the world around us all make up what it means to “be church.” And so in a sense, we have a refreshed concept of “going” to church and even to "inviting people to church." When you are meeting for worship…that’s church. When you are getting together for dinner…that’s church. When you are doing service and outreach together…that’s church. When you bundle all those things together, you are not just going to church, but you're being church.

Do yourself a favor - Don't go to church! (part 1)

What's one of the first things you do when you find out that your friend is a Christian? You probably ask them, "What church do you go to?"  I'm not going to get into all the sociology of why we ask a question like that, but trust me, I've thought of it.  But I do want to pick on that question a little bit. But not so much the question itself, but the prevalence of this idea in our culture of church as a place that we "go to."

I'm going to upset you up front and try to win you back by the end of this talk. Here it goes - I think Jesus would tell us not to "go to church."

Ok, this is going to be an exercise in semantics, I understand. Overall I'm definitely going to support going to church, especially over, say, going to the strip club. My point is simply that I think the language we use tells us a lot about our values and consequently our behavior. (There's my sociology for you.)  In this case, I believe that, for many of us, the phrase "going to church" betrays the reality within our thinking that there is a duality between church and the rest of our lives.

This topic comes up in conversation between Jesus and a religious teacher in Mark 12:28-34. Some disgruntled religious leaders are after Jesus again. They send some of their teachers to bombard him with a series of tough religious questions in order to discredit and arrest him. They picked the most critical and culturally/religiously defining questions, that you just better not get wrong. They were questions kind of like, "MJ or Kobe?", or "Greatest rock band of all time?" You better know this, Jesus or you're dead. Basically.

Jesus stuns them and gets the first two questions right - MJ and Led Zeppelin. Finally, a religious teacher comes up to him with the mother of all tough questions, and says, "All right, what's the greatest commandment of all?"  Jesus doesn't flinch - "Love God, and love people." Next.

But I’m going to take a stretch here and suggest that the teacher was asking Jesus - "Where do you go to church?” 

Here’s why I am taking that stretch. Jesus answers him from Deuteronomy 6:4, from the Torah, which was essentially the handbook for spiritual and communal life of ancient Israel.  Their practices were supposed to be observed as a community of God, or to take my stretch, as a "church." So Jesus' answer carries communal implications.  Loving God and loving people is something, the most important thing, done in intentional community. This thought is the backbone of the Bible. Even if you look at the structure of the 10 Commandments, you’ll see it…God and People. And that's why you see the entire nation of Israel punished in the OT whenever they fail to love God and love people.

Ok, so far so good.

And the religious teacher knew that Jesus nailed it, and his reply is very interesting. He agrees and says that this commandment is more important than simply offering all the burnt offerings and sacrifices in the book of law (the Torah).

Now he’s referring to those spiritual rituals (sacrifices, practices, offerings, etc.) listed in the Torah that the Israelites were supposed to observe in order to maintain their relationship with God.  Unfortunately, as you see often throughout the story of the Old Testament, that people’s hearts often checked out of God – they lived how they wanted, and kind of checked off their penance. They were doing the things of God, they were “going to the temple,” but their hearts weren’t in it.  And so you find the Lord speaking against his people through Isaiah by saying,

“These people say they are mine, they honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. And their worship of me is nothing but man-made rules learned by rote.” (Isa. 29:13)

Can you relate? Have you ever gone through the motions of obligatory bible reading and praying, mindless singing in church, throwing in a token offering, or endless church hopping…and you’re heart is really not in it? You’re not really that involved or connected? Your life is not really changed?

So I think this teacher of the law is basically recognizing that loving God and loving people is more important than simply “going to church.”  Because loving God and loving people, as a community and as an individual, is a heart issue. It's something that we have to be, and not just attend. It's more important to "be church" than it is simply to "go to church."

Jesus pats him on the shoulder, winks, and says "You got it buddy."

To be continued...

Looking to give back this holiday season? Look a little further.

Since retail stores are already putting holiday stuff on the shelves, I'm going to follow suit here and roll out my first holiday blog product.  So, seasons greetings!

Within the last few weeks at Breakthrough, people have already started inquiring about holiday volunteer opportunities.  Since we have a sampling of all the classic urban ministry programs (homeless shelter, food pantry, and youth program) we usually anticipate a high volume of requests to "give back" during the holidays.  In fact, over the last couple of years, we started getting so many requests that we decided to create several special holiday volunteer opportunities to accommodate the seasonal interest.  And this same thing is happening in community centers across America. The spirit of Thanksgiving and Christmas beckons people to flock to food pantries, shelters, and toy drives to "give back" to those in need.

I think generally it's a good spirit. But what happens on December 26 is of interest to me.  By this time, many are probably reflecting back on their holiday season, hoping that they had a solid holiday experience.  You know, were they able to get in all the standard serendipitous stuff that is supposed to happen this time of year: quality time with family, good eating, catching a holiday program or two, more eating, watching It's a Wonderful Life, giving and receiving great gifts, watching It's a Wonderful Life again, and getting out to the community center to give back to the less fortunate?  But usually by that day, people are also returning unwanted gifts back to stores, and quietly returning their volunteer spirit back into the storage closets along with the other holiday decorations, not to be needed again for another 12 months.

And so I fear that during the holidays people reserve a spot volunteering at the soup kitchen with the same motivation that they reserve a seat at the local Christmas musical. 

The reason why I fear this is because it makes me wonder if the itch to "give back" during the holidays is really more an itch to satisfy our own needs than the needs of the needy. You get me?

I'm not poo-pooing holiday volunteering. Serving and giving anytime are good and needed.  So I do want to bless holiday volunteer opportunities, but my point is that if you desire to give back and help the less fortunate, then you'll need to look a little further if you want to make a lasting difference.

Here are some ways to look a little further this holiday season, and hopefully begin a meaningful volunteer journey:

1. Look past the holidays
Once you find a place to volunteer this Thanksgiving or Christmas, stick around for a little while. Try volunteering there at least once a month for about 3-4 months. And see if it sticks. (And also know that nothing would delight a Volunteer Coordinator more to learn that you'd like to commit to volunteer for a little while!)

Spending just a little more time volunteering in the same place becomes an experience of discovery. You'll discover people's stories, you'll discover difficult structural problems with society, you'll discover ugliness, and you'll discover beauty. Most importantly, eventually you'll discover what the needy really need.

You may object that you don't have time for that.  But science has shown that time is no longer an effective excuse. Most of us will live to be 80, and we will look back and wish that we had spent less time on ourselves and more time making a difference in the lives of others.  And many of us are already halfway there.

2. Look for dignity
When you really think about the volunteer opportunities that are out there, would you really want to be on the receiving end of them? If you were the unemployed father who couldn't afford Christmas toys for your kids, how would you feel when the happy suburban family comes out to deliver gifts to your kids? Or if you were the woman who lived on the streets, how would you feel after hearing 100 well-to-do people over the course of two weeks saying "Happy Holidays" to you while they served you your meal each night, knowing that they would be gone by December 26, and that you would still be hungry on the street?

Looking for dignifying volunteer opportunities means looking for places that treat people like people, not like "the homeless," or "inner city youth" or "the less fortunate." Look for places that care about people's stories, people's dreams, and people's names. Look for opportunities that seek to build relationships with and to empower those they serve, that flatten out that "giving back" posture into a "giving reciprocally" posture, that embrace a motto like "giving a hand up, not a hand out," and that are committed to the long haul in people's lives.

3. Look inside yourself 
This is the cheesiest one of all, but it's true.  Serving and volunteering regularly is a transformational experience. It's a spiritual discipline. And it is also humbling because it shows you that you are really no different then the people you serve; you can just as easily be less fortunate. And in many ways you already are.

So in your attempt to give back to the less fortunate this holiday season, don't become the unfortunate who forget that poverty and brokenness exist for 363 more days of the year.

Oh, and Happy Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas.